5 Reasons Why Online Couple Therapy Is Effective
I’ve been offering my relationship counseling services to millennial couples and singles exclusively online via video sessions for over two years and a half now. Prior to that, I was one of those therapists who had a skeptical view of online couple therapy. I resisted it at first, just like many of us do when we consider trying something new, because I was afraid of the unknown.
I remember talking myself out of doing it. I didn’t want to follow through with something unfamiliar. I was worried that it might be too hard to track someone’s facial expressions, body language, or emotional cues via video sessions. I was afraid that my clients wouldn’t feel connected with me because of the lack of face to face proximity. I was concerned that I wouldn’t do a good job at solving a conflict when my couples needed me because I wasn’t physically there with them. I came up with many excuses. But I decided to do it anyway.
You know, when you’ve learned to master a skill by spending thousands of hours honing it, it’s ingrained in you. It becomes second nature. I came to that realization quickly during my first week of conducting online therapy. My body and my mind remember exactly how to get into the rhythm of conducting therapy fluidly regardless of whether it is an in person or virtual meeting. Since that day, I’ve never looked back on my decision to go online. For two reasons:
I really enjoy meeting with you from the comfort of your home. There is something very special about seeing you and your partner’s relationship in your real life environment that face-to-face therapy can miss.
I’ve received overwhelmingly positive feedback from many couples regarding their experience of doing online therapy. Some even told me that their online experience has been more satisfying than their previous in-person therapy.
So, here are the 5 reasons why I believe that online marriage counseling or relationship counseling is effective:
1. It helps you expand your ability to find the right therapist for you beyond the limitation of physical distance.
How many times have you found yourself searching on google for a “couples therapist near me,” only to discover that the therapist has a long waiting list or worse that they’re not the right fit for you? Why limit your ability to work with someone who can potentially help you create long lasting changes in life and relationships by the definition of physical distance? If you’re concerned about how to find the right therapist for you by seeking online therapy, I’d recommend that you watch their introduction video or read their blog. It will help you get a feel for whose approach speaks to you and your challenges the most. Don’t overcomplicate things. Go with your instincts.
2. No commute. You save time on driving and getting stuck in crazy traffic.
The number one reason I’ve heard from couples that prevents them from seeking couples therapy is finding a time that works for two people. Even when you’re able to manage to find a time that works for both, it can be hard to squeeze in the extra time for driving, not including time spent waiting in traffic, in order to make it to the therapist’s office and then to drive back to wherever you need to be afterwards. This routine can be a bummer when you try to be consistent with your weekly sessions. Frankly said, it sucks. Caring for your mental health and the health of your relationship shouldn’t be this hard.
3. You don’t have to miss a couples therapy appointment just because you or your partner may travel for work.
Online therapy can bridge the gap of time and distance to make it more accessible to you. Did you know that you and your partner can join your video couple session from two different locations as long as you can find a private space for you to do therapy in? Many clients have told me that they’d prefer to attend their sessions from their car, on their lunch break, than having to drive in rush hour to make it to a face-to-face meeting.
Another perk of doing online couples therapy is that you can attend sessions with your spouse even when you travel for work or leisure. Talk to your therapist about this option. There are some rules and restrictions that apply, but generally speaking, this option is designed to make therapy accessible to you.
4. You can get really real with your therapist about your challenges at home when you do therapy from your actual living space.
Let me explain. With the traditional in person therapy setting, you are expected to be more formal. By that I mean you may dress up more, leave whatever you’re doing to make time for driving, meet with your therapist to talk about your relationship concerns in a designated amount of time, and then depart till another week or so. This “requirement” to go somewhere in order to address your real life problem may cause you a sense of compartmentalization. Its like when you visit someone’s home, you may find yourself act or behave differently compared to when you’re at home. While this shift in behavioral change commonly happens in a social situation, it may take your therapist more time to connect your description of your relationship challenges to how your struggles really show up in your real living environment.
5. Online counseling has been proven to be as effective, if not more effective than face-to-face therapy.
There is a common myth out there that online therapy does not work. Or that if it works, it does not work as effectively as face-to-face therapy. Yet, many studies have shown important benefits that online therapy brings into our modern-day world. If you want to learn more about those studies, click here, here, here, and here.
It is true that online couples therapy may not be a good fit for everyone. This is why it is so important for you to talk to a licensed couples therapist regarding your specific relationship needs to ensure that you choose the right structure for you. That way you can make an informed decision for yourself
If your preference is doing in-person therapy because you want to have that physical connection with your therapist, I support you and I’ll encourage you to go for it. If your hesitation towards doing online couples therapy is due to fear of the unknown or uncertainty, I want you to know that your fear makes sense. It makes sense that you want to stick with the familiar: the traditional face to face therapy. It’s normal to want to stick with what you know and steer away from what you don’t know because it creates comfort. I will encourage you though to expand your comfort zone by allowing yourself the opportunity to go beyond the traditional. Just like the old saying goes: “don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.”
