Blaming comes from a place of disconnection. When we’re in pain, we expect our partner to somehow know it and do something to take the pain away. When they fail to respond to us the way that we expect, we tend to lash out at them for our feelings of hopelessness.

When we focus on avoiding pain, we tend to forget that it is also the place where growth occurs. It is true that being vulnerable means facing the risk of being emotionally wounded. However, it also means giving yourself the permission to be truthful of what you feel or experience in the moment and be brave enough to share that experience with others.