Building a relationship takes hard work. Structuring an interracial marriage adds its own twists and flavors to the existing challenge. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by the demand of picking and choosing which cultural values that you and your spouse must compromise over for the life of your marriage, you are not alone.

Blaming comes from a place of disconnection. When we’re in pain, we expect our partner to somehow know it and do something to take the pain away. When they fail to respond to us the way that we expect, we tend to lash out at them for our feelings of hopelessness.

Just like any form of insurance you have purchased in your life, there is no absolute guarantee that you and your belongings will be 100% covered with insurance. Though, the chance of you being protected and cared for against the odds is high. Likewise, love insurance does not provide a conflict-free and eternally-happy condition for your marriage.

Not talking to each other (i.e. passive style) does not stop your communication. In fact, you and your partner are constantly communicating with each other regardless of your awareness.

When asked what better communication looks like, couples feel frustrated as the answer they receive sounds foreign to what they think their partner wants.

Understanding your fear, the one that stops you from practicing vulnerability, is critical. For some, it is the fear of the unknown or uncertainty that stops us from telling others how we feel. We are afraid because we don’t know how our loved one would react if we showed them who we are.

When we focus on avoiding pain, we tend to forget that it is also the place where growth occurs. It is true that being vulnerable means facing the risk of being emotionally wounded. However, it also means giving yourself the permission to be truthful of what you feel or experience in the moment and be brave enough to share that experience with others.